![]() So raised with two cultural upbringings, I've got a double whammy of this contagious condition. It's one 90% of Brits have, and an astounding number of Yorubas have as well. Thank you Miss Putri and Times Reads for sending me a copy of this book in return for an honest review ✨ It is an eye-opener book only I think it's more on examples based on case studies and not enough applied suggestions. This book will teach you to be you by caring for others by not neglecting yourself, and acknowledging your own needs. We must respect our own feeling and what makes us happy. ![]() To conclude, we can be a people-pleaser, but please do not sacrifice ourselves in the process. □ We must allow ourselves to reflect when something goes wrong or right. □ If you say no and someone is disappointed, or something fails, it doesn't mean you should have said yes, and it also doesn't tell you a bad person. □ We must understand why we want it, not just knowing what we want. □ Don't make the mistake of comparing your inside to everybody else's outside. □ It's typically not what is said but what is not said that causes problems in relationships. □ Be yourself you might as well be criticized for who you are rather than who you're not. □ Be honest about what you want and account for the consequences of your options. □ Making yourself a priority – just because you can do it doesn't mean you should. Even though the author explains the situation in other pleasing chapters unrelated to parents/family, the root cause of the subjects' behavior is still coming from parents/family. I read this book slowly and not more than 15 pages at each session.īased on this book, I can say that child development is significant. Furthermore, long paragraphs dominate this book, making me quite tired by just looking at it. I need to re-read a few times to process the content. The writing style is not always easy to follow. I definitely can see myself at some points in this book. The case studies are reasonable and will help you identify your habits around people and set boundaries with them. From this point, the author divided the chapters based on the relationships and went deeper about the situation that raises people to become people-pleaser. In the beginning, the author introduced us to the four types of people-pleasers (the four pleasing profiles). They fear being judged for being thoughtful and find it easier to say yes than explain why not. ![]() People-please is the person who always put others first. "Pleasing yourself means treating yourself at least as well as you treat everyone else." Above all it will help you care better for others, without taking on their problems, through caring better for yourself. It will teach you acceptance instead of avoidance and show you how to grow instead of staying small. It will help you recover instead of fearing failure. It will help you get better at being disliked, instead of staying quiet. Through the stories of people-pleasers across all walks of life she offers insights and techniques that will help you understand yourself more fully and live more authentically. In this groundbreaking, reassuring and essential book she presents an alternative to people-pleasing. And rarely do we get what we really need.Įmma Reed Turrell works with people pleasers every day in her clinical practice as a psychotherapist – clients wrestling with the complicated dilemmas of a life in which you can’t please everyone, but you don’t yet have the permission you need to please yourself. Because when we give to make others like us or approve of us, to shore up our own sense of self-worth, to feel needed or to avoid painful emotions, then we give to get. ![]() The problem comes when we give up our own needs along the way. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting to support other people and help them satisfy their needs. We all know how it feels to want people to like us, to approve of us, to accept us. "The Courage to be Disliked" meets "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck": an essential, inspirational, wise and forgiving book that will liberate the people pleaser inside us all.
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